if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
