She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
