There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
