Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
