Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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