Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
