so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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