It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
