If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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