I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
