as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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