True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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