I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
