Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
