Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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