Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
