walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
