He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
