so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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