how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
