how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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