you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
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I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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