I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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