you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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