i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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