Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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