I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
