Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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