some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize