I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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