Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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