Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
