either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
