I cockslap morals
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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