i already hear my dad disowning me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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