I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my liver is dry heaving
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize