READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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