i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
