i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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