shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
