Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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