The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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