in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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