Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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