Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Green mimosas i think yes
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
