Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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