At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize