Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
