Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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