Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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