I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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