Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
