Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize