is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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