weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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