i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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