My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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