My brain says no but my pants say off.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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