i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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