How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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