So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
