Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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